A while ago I posted about an experience where having multiple kids in a "good behavior expected" situation ended up being disasterous as Joel got angry and threw his sippy cup across a banquet table nailing a bowl of salad and salad dressing and shooting it across the table onto an unsuspecting innocent bistandard.
Today was SO much worse.
I laughed about that situation (above) after it happened. It was embarrassing, it was frustrating, but all in all, life went on. I suppose now in the moment I am still to raw to laugh... or maybe it's the realization that today's experience is something that will repeat throughout his childhood into adulthood. ...who knows.
We went to church. We usually go Sunday mornings, but I decided to go tonight since we were close and it would prevent us from having to arise early in the morning and prep, etc. Joel goes to the preschool class while Kaeden is still in the nursery program. Once Joel got checked in, he was fine. When I went to pick him up I saw a picture on the video they play in the preschool hallway of him laying on a train table. Cute, totally not acceptable at home, but cute. I picked him up, and to his discerning nature, I did not allow him to go through the tunnel to get out of his class. He then went to the church sanctuary, ran in, up onto the stage, and began banging on the drums (which, by the way, were still attached to microphones). Amidst the pastor and a few others standing on stage, I grabbed him trying to explain acceptable and not acceptable and that these drums were too expensive for his crazy three year old hands to break. ...Joel didn't understand. He began yelling "walk big boy" meaning, put me down so I can walk. After being punched in the face and kicked in the stomach, I obliged for a trail run. Joel began running back on stage. I grabbed the hood of his coat and swung him back around. He kicked me in the leg and then knocked an entire row of chairs over. I tried to tell him "This is God's house and we don't destroy other's homes!" and he then knocked another row over. ...note to others, don't invite him in your home, he has no respect.
At that point I picked him up and with all my might I carried him to the car--with his hands smacking me over and over again in the face, and his feet kicking away at my already damaged uterus.
I love him, really I do.
I barely got to the car before the physical pain of these actions actually took effect. With the gorilla strength I hear so much about, I took him, flung him into his car seat and said "we don't hit!" as deep and evil as I could.
On our ride home, he took the entire large lemonaid I had gotten him for dinner before church and flung it up to the front seat. Seeing as how I'm allergic to citrus, it was a lovely experience to see, all over a car that I have to clean now, and will have allergy issues because of it. ...hello battery acid on skin feeling, I have so not missed you.
The truth of the matter is that on the ride home a thought went through my mind that sadly isn't a stranger of reaction to Joel's behavior issues... simply that of "if you put him outside the car, on the side of the road, and drive off... your life will be so much simpler". I've often wondered why I feel so connected and loving towards Joel... and have justified this by saying "he made me a mom". I have begun to believe that without that bond, Joel would be a homeless three year old. Yeah, I said it.
Nobody said this parenting thing was going to be easy... but along with that, nobody ever explained all the issues that come along with parenting a child who was exposed to God only knows what en utero...
I'm calling to get a ped appointment on Monday, and to get him back into occupational therapy and into a ped psych as well. I don't know how much longer I can mentally take dealing with these insane crazy irrational impulsive behavior.
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Friday, January 11, 2013
Secrets... so not good at keeping them
I don't do well keeping things under wraps. I really don't. When it's my life I want to tell anyone and everyone who will listen. However... sometimes I think "I should just wait and hold off. Don't get everyone's hopes up, for possible disappointment. Keep that to yourself... it'll be better to hold off on the instant gratification of sharing the news as opposed to individually telling those who you love". Know what I mean? Right.
Since I truly believe that although everyone I know has this blog address and about eh, two of you may read it... I figure it's a pretty safe bet that I can devulge what's been eating at me for a week now, right? Right.
We're "in waiting". Which, in and of itself, is truly not much. We contacted the foster office and told them before Christmas sometime that we wanted to go forward with another child. (yay, raaaah!!) The waiting is killing me. We have had to jump through minimal hoops to get to the point we got to yesterday/today but hey, we're here. Now... God, can I please get whatever child you've got coming to us? Please?? Please???
Backing up, to where I was before that rant... before Christmas I told our caseworker we were ready for another. We were offered twins--which I sanely replied "no" to. (Be proud... anyone who knows how I was two years ago would have cautiously said "you refused a child?") We were then told we had to have another walk through, as well as inspection (hoorah) and complete a bit of paperwork. So... we finished that effective yesterday (sort of, emailed something else today that was minor and pointless).
And, add in, while we were in the beginning stages of looking towards this... I put in a few requests for small stuff through an online chat board for baby items we didn't have. ...between telling our story of "we adopt through foster care" I ended up having people offer to give us every item we were in need of for a very minimal cost--if not free. Insane. And, it's all here... ready for this child to come home into. The only "need" we'll have beyond the basics are clothes (and what parent/grandparent of just boys isn't ready to go buck wild on pink and purple cuteness??).
So, yeah. We're back into the waiting game... kind of similar to a woman who is nine months pregnant waiting for the baby to begin the contractions and present itself. We're in that game... preparing like crazy, with the hopes of soon becoming parents for the third time.
Oh... and did I mention... if you're actually reading this--feel priveledged cause "it's a surprise". ;)
Since I truly believe that although everyone I know has this blog address and about eh, two of you may read it... I figure it's a pretty safe bet that I can devulge what's been eating at me for a week now, right? Right.
We're "in waiting". Which, in and of itself, is truly not much. We contacted the foster office and told them before Christmas sometime that we wanted to go forward with another child. (yay, raaaah!!) The waiting is killing me. We have had to jump through minimal hoops to get to the point we got to yesterday/today but hey, we're here. Now... God, can I please get whatever child you've got coming to us? Please?? Please???
Backing up, to where I was before that rant... before Christmas I told our caseworker we were ready for another. We were offered twins--which I sanely replied "no" to. (Be proud... anyone who knows how I was two years ago would have cautiously said "you refused a child?") We were then told we had to have another walk through, as well as inspection (hoorah) and complete a bit of paperwork. So... we finished that effective yesterday (sort of, emailed something else today that was minor and pointless).
And, add in, while we were in the beginning stages of looking towards this... I put in a few requests for small stuff through an online chat board for baby items we didn't have. ...between telling our story of "we adopt through foster care" I ended up having people offer to give us every item we were in need of for a very minimal cost--if not free. Insane. And, it's all here... ready for this child to come home into. The only "need" we'll have beyond the basics are clothes (and what parent/grandparent of just boys isn't ready to go buck wild on pink and purple cuteness??).
So, yeah. We're back into the waiting game... kind of similar to a woman who is nine months pregnant waiting for the baby to begin the contractions and present itself. We're in that game... preparing like crazy, with the hopes of soon becoming parents for the third time.
Oh... and did I mention... if you're actually reading this--feel priveledged cause "it's a surprise". ;)
Monday, January 7, 2013
Beer, er donut run!!
I went on a donut run this morning. Yes, you read that right... a donut run. A donut run that lasted 45 minutes. No, I don't live far from a donut shop, and yes, we were there within five minutes of leaving the house. No, there were not any complications that led to what my friends would deam a "stinky crap" kind of moment... but indeed, we were gone, for an insane 45 minutes, getting donuts. Did I mention, the donuts were for Kaeden? That could possibly be the 45 minute cause, right?
Yesterday we did a family day and headed to a local children's museum. After leaving the museum eighteen hours later (three, but I digress) we intended to hit the attached donut shop. It was closed, since it was Sunday. Kaeden did NOT forget that he was entitled (hah) to a "doooo nut" (insert: Kaeden was telling everyone "I want big boy do nuts" yesterday, which left quite a chuckle for most). He has told me now for over 24 hours (cause he totally talks in his sleep, right?) I want yellow doo nuts mommy!! So, what's a mom to do? ....end the madness, duh.
After we finished the morning "chores" I packed him into his coat and we jumped into the car. We headed to the local donut shop, where I ordered half a dozen donuts--figuring Joel would enjoy some after school. I asked for all frosted, some with sprinkles, and explained they were for little kids. I got the box and showed them to Kaeden as I pulled into a gas station to fill up the car. Kaeden said he wanted the "yellow" one--but there wasn't a yellow one. I told him the colors (though he knew them anyhow) and he decided on a pink one. After pumping gas I asked how his donut was and he said "no like it, different one". ...I asked which one, frustrated, and he responded "not those". Hmm? Okay, so, what kind? "yellow doo nut balls" (insert embarrassing laughter here... my boys and their crazy speech issues).
Kaeden, for the record, apparently, does NOT like donuts. He likes donut HOLES. Duh mom, "yellow" means the type of cake, not the frosting. So, off to a SECOND donut shop to get what the prince wants for breakfast... "yellow doo nut balls".
Note: they sell donut holes in smaller portions, and they're crazy affordable. Ten donut holes--$2. YAY. We'll go that route in the future, all the time. Regular donuts "aka "hole donuts"-per Kaeden, are far more expensive.
Til next time...
Yesterday we did a family day and headed to a local children's museum. After leaving the museum eighteen hours later (three, but I digress) we intended to hit the attached donut shop. It was closed, since it was Sunday. Kaeden did NOT forget that he was entitled (hah) to a "doooo nut" (insert: Kaeden was telling everyone "I want big boy do nuts" yesterday, which left quite a chuckle for most). He has told me now for over 24 hours (cause he totally talks in his sleep, right?) I want yellow doo nuts mommy!! So, what's a mom to do? ....end the madness, duh.
After we finished the morning "chores" I packed him into his coat and we jumped into the car. We headed to the local donut shop, where I ordered half a dozen donuts--figuring Joel would enjoy some after school. I asked for all frosted, some with sprinkles, and explained they were for little kids. I got the box and showed them to Kaeden as I pulled into a gas station to fill up the car. Kaeden said he wanted the "yellow" one--but there wasn't a yellow one. I told him the colors (though he knew them anyhow) and he decided on a pink one. After pumping gas I asked how his donut was and he said "no like it, different one". ...I asked which one, frustrated, and he responded "not those". Hmm? Okay, so, what kind? "yellow doo nut balls" (insert embarrassing laughter here... my boys and their crazy speech issues).
Kaeden, for the record, apparently, does NOT like donuts. He likes donut HOLES. Duh mom, "yellow" means the type of cake, not the frosting. So, off to a SECOND donut shop to get what the prince wants for breakfast... "yellow doo nut balls".
Note: they sell donut holes in smaller portions, and they're crazy affordable. Ten donut holes--$2. YAY. We'll go that route in the future, all the time. Regular donuts "aka "hole donuts"-per Kaeden, are far more expensive.
Til next time...
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